Loading ...
[[Once a week I ask the same bleary-eyed question: “What about Wednesday?” It’s my day to post whatever the hell I feel like, with no regard to fashion, eco-consciousness or, occasionally, even coherent thoughts.]]
I spent a good part of yesterday evening wrapped in an oversize shirt, sitting in a big, velvety orange chair, just…thinking. And I think I realized something kind of important.
Nostalgia is sexy.
It all started with a song that came up on Pandora while I was at work – that program knows me so well – that reminded me of that time. You know, that one time, in that one relationship, that was so good…even though it was surrounded by utter crap. The relationship itself was trying, to say the least, and I’m not eager to give the person a call to reminisce…but I have to admit that it still had its good moments. That’s the stuff I’m supposed to keep at the forefront of my mind, right? Those good moments are the ones I’m supposed to recall, Mother Theresa-like, every time someone asks me about how things were with So and So.
(Yeah, right.)
I spent the next few minutes just thinking about that; thinking about the way I think. I had to be honest with myself: why did I choose to ignore all of those good memories, just because they’re curled up next to bad ones?
Well, duh, Jen: because they friggin’ hurt, that’s why.
…but then I realized that it didn’t hurt. Not at the moment, anyway. And that realization was kind of cool; it was kind of empowering. I’d been able to take those bad memories and separate them from the good ones. I was able to focus on the stuff that made that relationship crazy-good, and not, ahem, crazy.
I suggest you try it sometime. Take one of “those relationships” – be it with an ex-friend, a lover, whomever – and remember why you stuck around them in the first place. Remember how fun those impromptu adventures were, or how they always knew what you wanted to eat based on what you were wearing that day. Forget about the rest of it…for just a minute. If you can.
You can always go back to hating them later, right?
When I think about those old relationships, it’s usually me that I wind up being disappointed in/mad at. That’s harder to tackle than outward negativity, I think. But, in those moments, I remember that I’m not that person any more and that I’ve grown up. Sure, I may have other moments in the future, but if I remember my past, then I can be better prepared.
Also – I LOVE THAT ORANGE CHAIR
I found that chair years ago, on Craigslist, for free. It was in great conditions – didn’t even have to be cleaned! – and has moved with me to four different houses. I even had to fight a roommate for it once.
It’s sad, but sometimes, I look back and remember the good parts but wonder why it was I tried so hard to make them last.
Some things just aren’t permanent.
.-= Jaime´s last blog ..Do You Love Your AG Jeans? =-.
Well-said, Jaime. That’s the balance I’m trying to achieve – being grateful for the memories *and* for the fact that those times in my life are over. Nothing is permanent.
you are very, very right. nostalgia is sexy, and when used the right way, like you do, it’s empowering and refreshing. thanks jen <3
ps – those photos of you make me want to spend all day curled up in a huge sweater with a book. mmm.
.-= Carly´s last blog ..locked. =-.
What About Wednesday: Nostalgia http://bit.ly/29acvc
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jen and The Demoiselles, Miss Elle. Miss Elle said: RT @craftyasparagus: What About Wednesday: Nostalgia http://bit.ly/29acvc [...]
Nostalgia, you and your article are sexy.
I have those moments a lot, thinking back to last year, 4 years ago, high school, junior high, elementary, and beyond. A lot of hurt and tears and anger have but stuck in there over the years, but you’re completely right – there’s a lot of fantastic, wonderful, amazing stuff snuggled up right next to the bad. It’s funny that you write this, because this is something I’ve been dwelling on for a couple of weeks now. <3